die happy(?)

When I was younger, I felt that in order to die happy, I had to live under a model of thinking in which I would only do things that pleased me, negating all negative and positive values of right and wrong in terms of human norms and family expectations. My reasoning being that no aspect of the world around me should force me into a mode of living that was not satisfying to me personally.

Later, I realized that doing only what would please me did not always intersect or run parallel with all the infinite experiences that the world around me had to offer me. My new idea of a satisfying life worked to come as close as possible to 'do everything, see everything, and know everything'. Don't laugh. :)

As of right now, this model holds true, but probably not with as much intent. I realize now that my goal isn't to be satisfied when I die, just satisfied throughout my life. I feel I might become a depressed senior citizen if I don't accomplish or at least experience many things. Essentially, it would be redundant to exit life without fully indulging in everything that humans are capable of; experiance, knowledge,  relations, etc.

On this topic, I tend to make recurring lists, idealizing and simplifying where possible.

These will happen before I die. 

- 2nd language

- A system of living that I will design for myself personally, all aspects considered

- Handwrite in a serif typeface of my choosing (Bold uppercase included)

- A lover

- Fantasie Impromptu on the piano

- Travel

- Design processes over and over again :)

I wonder if other people consider the romance of things before they consider their function. If it was up to me, I think I would write all of my documents on a typewriter, wear dark Ray Bans in and outdoors, wear corduroy pants daily, design all my own furniture with victorian wingback chairs in mind, and structure my day around 4 o'clock tea time. In my home, I would sit at a cluttered desk and call people on a telephone. 

I think design and technology progresses towards improving peoples lives in the minimalist-white-box sense, but I have a feeling that it is inherent for humans to live comfortably, not ideally. 

Super hot crit today, everything was perfect, everything was completed in time, and after I finish writing this post and listening to this song*, Im going to have the most glorious sleep-that-ends-with-an-alarm ever!

I think, I just want to be distracted from the design process for a second and have a life, and I want to spend quality time with people not named Adrien. (sorry Adrien)

*The Scientist - Coldplay

damn tune will be stuck in my head for a while

I think anyone's life can be compared metaphorically to the game of Tetris at one point or another. Either right after you press 'start game' when everything is falling into place.. but is too easy, OR, when the background colour turns red and you are making so many illogical sacrifices only because you are threatened with end game.

I was playing tetris on my ipod touch on the bus*, WITH sound and music. Every time I cleared 4 lines at a time it would yell Tetris! But that didn't happen nearly as many times as I got singles. Single! Single! Single! I wanted to just tell it to shut up and mind its own business. 

*this word is riddled in every post, like a virus.

back on track

Over winter break, I remember sitting with my father, in the living room that is never used, and he was warning me about 2009. He was under the impression that it would be a testy year for me, and that all my weaknesses would become apparent and challenged. His philosophy on the way that life works is highly unorthodox, but essentially there is a sort of cyclic law that he follows, which all human experience can be predicted. Every time he talks to me about it, I process it the same way I process my astrological horoscope.

I just remembered this conversation for the first time in this new year and I feel it's really true to my time so far. If it's crazy to even compare my experiences to a silly prediction, then my point is just that I feel like i've been tested. Issues i've never encountered before showed themselves, and for a while there I honestly wondered if I would get back into my old inspired state of mind.

Anyways, it's nice to be back on track. Today I was in the drafting room with Rachel getting all excited about grids* again, my cough has calmed down to a socially-acceptable minimum, and thankfully I have gone back to not caring that my life revolves almost solely** around school activity.

*grids and scientific notions in general should always have a hand in design, because, hello, grids make beautiful things

**I had to look up this word to make sure I was spelling it right, and the definition was: not involving anyone or anything else (lol)

Production stage complete!

Adrien and me are designing a toy targeted specially for 3-year-olds. We completely missed the mark on this criteria, but we are excited otherwise! 

After 4 hours of finishing production in the ID shop, we spent 2 hours acting like kids, realizing all the ways of playing with the Ublocks. The height of the excitement was learning they were self balancing and stackable up to our heads. And we made typography!

old people

I have a soft spot for cute old women desperately trying t0 preserve their vanity. I was sitting at the bus stop, and one of them passed by me. She had a stroller-walker-apparatus-type-thing, it took her a total of 4 minutes to completely pass me, so I had plenty of time to study her.. ensemble. Her hair had meticulous pin curls framing her face, she wore a darling satin scarf that I'm pretty sure had the word "Paris" all over it, the 'i' in the word being a Chagall-style illustration of the eiffel tower. Her skin was dead porcelain, as with most oldish people. But she was wearing scarlet lipstick, and I mean the high-chroma variety. Her nails a french manicure.

I can't say exactly that I personally want to turn into one of these dainty ladies, but I find them to be so fascinating. They spend so much effort getting made up, to go to the local food court at the mall. so cute.