Walls

Walls: 

They are ugly.

Description of said walls: 

They are covered in a shade of yellow paint, with a band of one foot tacky wallpaper spanning the entire upper perimeter of the room.

Solution:

Will not eat my moneys, make use of plentiful material I have access to, and can easily be disassembled. 

Description of said Solution:

I shall research and design a modular paper folded tessellation that fits within the size of 8.5 x 11 printer paper, that I will then assemble in mass quantities. 

:))

The items I own. Part III - Borders and Corners

10 bags was the magical number of bags.

I pushed all my furniture inwards slightly, and now I can see all borders and corners of my space. If you don't get an elated feeling upon visualizing the borders and corners, clearly you have never experienced the borders and corners (and in the same breath, I nudge you to try it).

Because my desk, storage locker, desk cabinet and bed are not resting against a wall, it feels like they are floating entities, not in the spacey sense, I mean like non-rasterized objects in Photoshop. They have selection marquees around them. :)

Henceforth, I make the following conclusions:

- Furniture that sits closely to walls encloses a space, masking the overall form and shape of the room. i.e, the outer perimeter is not clearly understood at first glance, therefore the space becomes focused primarily on the floor space that is visible.

- Furniture that sits arbitrarily inside of a space, away from the walls, actually accentuates the room's form and shape. i.e, the frame of the space is understood at first glance, making the objects obstructing the space less of a focus.

 

The items I own. Part II

Today consisted of waking up at a reasonably hour after 12 and eating a variety of cereals of my choosing, with milk from the back of the fridge. The very back.*

And so, after this lofty process of waking was complete, I proceeded to my room where eight (8) large industrial-strength garbage bags were filled with items I possess. But no longer possess, of coarse. 

After a grueling 48 minutes, I was mentally tired from repetitively recalling the questions outlined in my previous post: Does this item enable me? and Does this item contain knowledges?

Might I add that I was also physically tired from lifting the mere "eight (8) large industrial-str.... bags" and felt that I deserved a shower and the rest of the day off catching up on design blogs and peer flickr photostreams.

This is definitely not over though. Perhaps tomorrow I will buy more milk**, but then proceed diligently with the rest of the junk that I am still, sadly, staring at at this moment. In my peripheral and focal vision. 

*dodge city

**a banal activity that will simulate 'normal living'.

The items I own.

So, first day home!

I slept in my own bed last night, and crawled around the house all day.

It's hard to pay attention to at school, but now that I'm forced to be around it, I realize now how much stuff I own.

I own sooo many items.

The thing is, I must not need these items because clearly school has proven that there is only a set number of tools that I need to function, and to design things. And for me to have lived successfully over the last 6 months without needing to take any of the things sitting in my closet, desk cabinet, or elsewhere, makes me think that the items I own have more sentimental value then functional value.

Why do I own these things if I don't use them, and will it pain me to throw them out? 

The reason why I own them is because they connect me, in some way or another, to past happenings. And they define or express who I am. 

Hence why I feel a sense of self in my personal space. There might as well be a connection to feeling self and feeling comfortable. i.e, sentimental objects in relationship to feeling belonging in the world, etc etc.

So first I consider what will happen if everything, save the things I need, are thrown away:

- My past becomes treated as insignificant, and eventually forgotten to an extent that is only remembered via memory, which, btw is shoddy at best.

- My living space becomes more of a utility, rather than a place to ponder old things.

- My thought process may become more involved in future rather than past.

- A space based around utility may have a positive effect on productivity.

- If it is true that I feel a certain sense of self, or at least the self that is projected through the things I own, then I may adopt a new idea of self.

- If there is a connection between feeling like myself and feeling comfort, then a space without personal items may be less comfortable to be in.

- However, a space with less items may prove to be more relaxing. (Chaos of physical space = Chaos of mental space)

What do I hope to gain by loosing these items?

- A space that enables me to work on projects: free space.

- An uncluttered, uncomplex physical space that will hopefully reflect an uncluttered, uncomplex mental space.

- An outlook on the coming 20 years that isn't contaminated or seasoned by the previous 20 years. (Which obviously isn't purely possible, but in terms of my stuff hindering this in any way)

How will I define a 'needed' item?

- it must enable me relative to my design practice, personal health, or personal hobbies.

- If it does not serve any of these three outlets, then it must contain knowledge for me to extract. i.e. books, documents, past written or image-based process, etc.

"..., I make lists. constantly."

Right, so like some people who walk their dog, smoke cigarettes, eat chocolate mousse cake, and/or chat on telephones, I make lists. constantly. I mean to say that people find comfort in some things, and I find comfort in other things*. 

So, lists. It's not that I just like writing them (although I do), but something about the way I tend to process information in my head is very similar. Which makes me think that the physical act of writing a list is actually an effective method of organizing my thoughts. 

I think the problem lies in the fact that the lists being formulated in my head don't tend to follow a linear format, and the many lists that happen through the course of a day become a mashed up heap of thought-items that do not follow any hierarchy. 

Hence why tangible lists become organizational and comforting.

Titles of lists I made today:

- To Do list as of 12.36 pm

- List of criteria for desk, year 3

- List of items that must not remain at home tomorrow

- List of costs for Core design item

- List of possible design strategies for desk 

- Revised To Do list as of 7.12 pm

- List of people I would like to (still) know at age 35-45**

- List of people I enjoy in my life at this moment (non hierarchical)**

and

- List of things to happen this summer**

- Go to alaska, and hurry back.

- Gain many knowledges on the following subjects (a sublist, no doubt)

- Bookbinding

- 3d CAD software

- Origami Tessellations, paper forms

- Veneer/Ply mold making

- Biology

- inDesign (beyond surface knowledge)

- Beach + Tan

- Documentation and Design of an online portfolio

- Find a new place to live

- Spend time with people I like

(Non Hierarchical) 

*not to say I haven't sampled other people's 'things'.

**novelty lists that proved the function of avoiding many homework items on cue.

I'm still alive!

such good news

die happy(?)

When I was younger, I felt that in order to die happy, I had to live under a model of thinking in which I would only do things that pleased me, negating all negative and positive values of right and wrong in terms of human norms and family expectations. My reasoning being that no aspect of the world around me should force me into a mode of living that was not satisfying to me personally.

Later, I realized that doing only what would please me did not always intersect or run parallel with all the infinite experiences that the world around me had to offer me. My new idea of a satisfying life worked to come as close as possible to 'do everything, see everything, and know everything'. Don't laugh. :)

As of right now, this model holds true, but probably not with as much intent. I realize now that my goal isn't to be satisfied when I die, just satisfied throughout my life. I feel I might become a depressed senior citizen if I don't accomplish or at least experience many things. Essentially, it would be redundant to exit life without fully indulging in everything that humans are capable of; experiance, knowledge,  relations, etc.

On this topic, I tend to make recurring lists, idealizing and simplifying where possible.

These will happen before I die. 

- 2nd language

- A system of living that I will design for myself personally, all aspects considered

- Handwrite in a serif typeface of my choosing (Bold uppercase included)

- A lover

- Fantasie Impromptu on the piano

- Travel

- Design processes over and over again :)

I wonder if other people consider the romance of things before they consider their function. If it was up to me, I think I would write all of my documents on a typewriter, wear dark Ray Bans in and outdoors, wear corduroy pants daily, design all my own furniture with victorian wingback chairs in mind, and structure my day around 4 o'clock tea time. In my home, I would sit at a cluttered desk and call people on a telephone. 

I think design and technology progresses towards improving peoples lives in the minimalist-white-box sense, but I have a feeling that it is inherent for humans to live comfortably, not ideally. 

Super hot crit today, everything was perfect, everything was completed in time, and after I finish writing this post and listening to this song*, Im going to have the most glorious sleep-that-ends-with-an-alarm ever!

I think, I just want to be distracted from the design process for a second and have a life, and I want to spend quality time with people not named Adrien. (sorry Adrien)

*The Scientist - Coldplay

damn tune will be stuck in my head for a while

I think anyone's life can be compared metaphorically to the game of Tetris at one point or another. Either right after you press 'start game' when everything is falling into place.. but is too easy, OR, when the background colour turns red and you are making so many illogical sacrifices only because you are threatened with end game.

I was playing tetris on my ipod touch on the bus*, WITH sound and music. Every time I cleared 4 lines at a time it would yell Tetris! But that didn't happen nearly as many times as I got singles. Single! Single! Single! I wanted to just tell it to shut up and mind its own business. 

*this word is riddled in every post, like a virus.

back on track

Over winter break, I remember sitting with my father, in the living room that is never used, and he was warning me about 2009. He was under the impression that it would be a testy year for me, and that all my weaknesses would become apparent and challenged. His philosophy on the way that life works is highly unorthodox, but essentially there is a sort of cyclic law that he follows, which all human experience can be predicted. Every time he talks to me about it, I process it the same way I process my astrological horoscope.

I just remembered this conversation for the first time in this new year and I feel it's really true to my time so far. If it's crazy to even compare my experiences to a silly prediction, then my point is just that I feel like i've been tested. Issues i've never encountered before showed themselves, and for a while there I honestly wondered if I would get back into my old inspired state of mind.

Anyways, it's nice to be back on track. Today I was in the drafting room with Rachel getting all excited about grids* again, my cough has calmed down to a socially-acceptable minimum, and thankfully I have gone back to not caring that my life revolves almost solely** around school activity.

*grids and scientific notions in general should always have a hand in design, because, hello, grids make beautiful things

**I had to look up this word to make sure I was spelling it right, and the definition was: not involving anyone or anything else (lol)

Production stage complete!

Adrien and me are designing a toy targeted specially for 3-year-olds. We completely missed the mark on this criteria, but we are excited otherwise! 

After 4 hours of finishing production in the ID shop, we spent 2 hours acting like kids, realizing all the ways of playing with the Ublocks. The height of the excitement was learning they were self balancing and stackable up to our heads. And we made typography!

old people

I have a soft spot for cute old women desperately trying t0 preserve their vanity. I was sitting at the bus stop, and one of them passed by me. She had a stroller-walker-apparatus-type-thing, it took her a total of 4 minutes to completely pass me, so I had plenty of time to study her.. ensemble. Her hair had meticulous pin curls framing her face, she wore a darling satin scarf that I'm pretty sure had the word "Paris" all over it, the 'i' in the word being a Chagall-style illustration of the eiffel tower. Her skin was dead porcelain, as with most oldish people. But she was wearing scarlet lipstick, and I mean the high-chroma variety. Her nails a french manicure.

I can't say exactly that I personally want to turn into one of these dainty ladies, but I find them to be so fascinating. They spend so much effort getting made up, to go to the local food court at the mall. so cute.

Two books sitting in my closet that will probably continue to exist there.

All libraries hate me. And with due cause, thats for certain. My fines are exceeded in all of them, and it's not like it's just me, it runs in my family like a common genetic. I remember that lovely day last year when I was researching for my first Visual Culture paper for Joy James* and I signed up for a Vancouver Public Library card and the confused man told me, without ever having an account in the past, that I had already $84.17 of fines spanning from 1982. The mere two-generation span of the Sinclaire family name was already setting some awful habits.

The point (actually), was to say that, yes, I love to know things, and yes, at one point I will come TO the library to read books everyday. I will blow off other matters of my life such as having relationships, afternoon tea, drawing, and so forth. And I will do so without the use of my VPL card, which, even if I wanted to use would incur so much additional... trouble.

*agreeably, not arguably, the smartest person ever. and kindest, no less.

Good or bad.

I had a thought today*, I was trying to decide how I come to decisions on whether I find something to be of good or bad design. good or bad aesthetic. good or bad composition. good or bad hairpiece. good or bad anything, really. ('good or bad' in this case are probably not the most correct words, but my point essentially is of opposing positive and negative values, with nothing left in-between)

Do I analyze said thing until I come to an opinion? Or is it something purely automatic?

Sometimes I cannot tell if I love or hate something. Sometimes I can literally not know how I 'feel' about a particular thing. How is that possible? To not know or have a standing either way? Every time I pass by the 3rd year area to go to the ID shop, there is a chair I look at every single time. It is being designed by a group of students. I can't decide whether It is beautiful or average. I have a thought about it with every pass. Perhaps there is a sense of analyzing the constituents that make up the whole of a thing, looking at what parts are good and what parts are bad, and then trying to lever whether one is outweighing the other. So, maybe it is not that we don't feel either good or bad, but both at the same time? 

The angle of the wood is pleasing**, the grain of the wood is pleasing, the backrest is pleasing, all of these things I recognize to be pleasing without even thinking about it. As a whole, the chair is not pleasing. I am neutral on the chair itself. It must be because the negatives are canceling out the positives. I must be noticing all the things I love and hate about it automatically, in terms of components, and am not able to conclude that I feel either way about the chair as a whole. 

If in-fact I am making automatic decisions about what I like and not like, what then is causing me to be so sure so quickly? My feeling is that, every time I am exposed to something that I have to form an opinion about, I either try to fit it into a former stereotype or compare to a previous model. 

I love the angle of the wood because it reminds me of miter joinery (which I love, and I'm sure miter joinery reminds me of something else that I love). The grain I love because it is the same grain as in my favorite 70s chair design. I hate the type of wood because it reminds me of the home-made porch furniture at my friend's place. I hate the length of the seat pan because I hate how people's thighs look as soon as they reach the edge.

I'm sure everything we make opinions on are based on experiences. Alot of people share similar experiences, which I'm sure is why everyone hates the 80s patterning on Styrofoam cups and RV caravans. And loves asymmetrical san-serif typography.

*one of many

**45 degree miter cuts are pleasing in all cases

To Do List

I wrote this post already, it was about a to-do list. I wrote the entire to-do list then deleted it :)

Anyways, it feels like it's time to stop everything and just fix all the holes. I've got plenty to do, and I've got a free week to do it all. 

As I type this I am sinking in to an old mattress that is declining where the weight of my body is placed. Jenny the same. My belly is full of milkshakes and grease food. Our brothers are playing tabs on their guitars back and forth at each other. We are assembling candy blocks and discussing horses in the distance.

is getting more gray hair every day

Exchange application handed in!

My whole day I scurried around in panic, trying to calm the fuck down and focus my efforts on my computer screen, reading and re-reading the mere 326 words that were opened in my stupid shareware word processing program. 

It's always the case that when you actually have a very pressing 'thing' to type up in 4 hours or less, you run into all the people you really like chatting with. Everywhere! I hardly get to see Yuriy, or Jimmy Sze*, or Felix, or Shelagh, or Ashley, or Dave, or Michelle, or Tom, or Sitji, or basically all the people that I saw today but was sort of half-not-there. 

Anyways, the pinnacle of my essay was the sentence in which I explained that I was super stoked on learning processes of articulating space and 3d rendering through digital means. All that is left to do now is sort out some issues with html and rework some parts of javascript and my portfolio will be online before the week's end.

It's almost 11 pm, and I'm going to sleep through all alarms that may or may not go off in the morning. If anyone but Jenny calls me tomorrow, they're going to face my annoying answering machine before the 4 rings. In the case that my brother wakes me for pancakes, I will eat them under the premise that I will be putting a considerable amount of butter and sugar on them.. and only if my sleep has exceeded 12 hours.

:D

*tendency to say his last name where possible

Procrastination - word of the day

Exchange application is coming together very slowly. I was tense the entire day, and I fled to the North building multiple times to plunk on the piano in 270. The only thing I feel calm about is the fact that I am not competing in the Eindhoven bermuda triangle with my favorite people.

Tomorrow is valentines day-- 

and that's the end of this post, because I'm making kraft dinner down stairs

lemmings

The south building, and the people that function in the south building are intense. Right past the second card access door, design people fluctuate and move through one hallway periodically through a 14 hour day. Some days I can pass the same person so many times that it becomes annoying to see their face. And this is the thing about this small communal area: It brings people together in that it is impossible to ignore a person due to the tight spatial area, but because it is populated by high strung* people who are either walking to a task or sitting down concentrating, there is no prolonged duration of face-talk time. 

This I feel is the reason my close friends extend only to my in-class mates, and those I am working under the same deadlines with. 

Lets have lunch some time :)

*crazy-awesome

:S

Things are fine; Not amazing, and not horribly wrong.*

*This sentence was edited 4 times

Interface design, a satisfying area of design.

So, the infographic is done, and incase you the reader have no clue of the infographic, it doesn't matter, because it's only an obstacle in my way of me accomplishing other more high-priority-to-making-my-life-awesome things.

Namely, my exchange portfolio. The portfolio in itself is basically already in existence, all my pieces that are 'in' the portfolio are created, and all that is left is to document and display these pieces of work in what I get excited calling an "interface". I can't exactly explain why, but the idea of creating a format of displaying all of my work in a coherent and accumulated.. interface, damn that's the only word I've got.. is very satisfying to think about. 

The interface is hopefully going to take form as a flash interactive applet. If in a perfect universe where time didn't really have a lever in any of my undertakings, it would have a motion introduction, and then a print-layout style composition that could be opened and expanded to show more or less detail by clicking and moving. This would be ideal because I could design a simple intuitive layout that showcases the finished project more than any other element of my design process, and then aspects such as ideation and process could be explored at request of the person viewing. In my mind this is extremely pleasing. 

My realistic hopes are really just to be able to have the best of both worlds: so, a simplistic print layout that unfolds and expands through digital means. This being the only basis behind my decision to submit a digital format portfolio.

Actually, this description of my 'interface' sounds alot like a website, but that isn't really my intention because I want it to be navigated the same way by every viewer, like a book, not so much as a click-here-click-there website.

I could totally see how this could bore the hell out of someone. Honestly though, I might rank Interface design somewhere near the smell of gasoline or long walks on the beach.

tomorrow happened three hours and thirty nine minutes ago.

Right before I decided to post here, I updated my facebook status, and I used the word 'tomorrow'. Im sitting here arranging my info graphic at 3:39 in the morning*, not evening. Im so silly.

*this only means I have to fit writing this, sleep, washing, flax toast, email, gas station, and commute into the duration of 5 hours. Totally workable.

Anyways, I was listening to Epoca - Gotan Project on the bus, which I love trotting down the street to. Ashley will make fun of me most likely, because I fell in love with it from a dishwasher commercial. I have such a good idea for a motion graphic for this song. It involves black and white photography and revolving polygons. It would also involve helvetica, which is the part I wish was not part of it...because I don't like helvetica at all, of coarse. ahem.

Godzilla homework will be cautiously tackled this weekend

I am spending the weekend at school -- said quietly. very quietly.

Im just going to roll out of bed tomorrow at whichever time I decide to set my three alarms, very carelessly, then I'm going to have two servings of cereal, one bowl of fruitloops and one bowl of miniwheats, I'm going to spend half the time I normally do looking in the mirror at my problem-stricken skin, and at one point during the day tomorrow I will design the most amazing visual information graphic-- that ever lived.

:D

Oh, and Sunday I have delightful plans. All day!

yay

So, I can finally smell my over-powering shampoo. This is a sign of greatness. This day will be greatness.

EDIT: 11:25PM - This day yielded 1 pre-approved Visa card, 2 delightful visits from friends I have lost touch with, 3 doses of  Masala Chai that I could actually taste, and 4.. I could go on. The point being is: for a whole day I wasn't miserable, and I realized an important lesson, which is: breaking a 10 day school week with a day at home is simply an effective Upper.

portfolio jarble

I was taking a look, for the first time really, into my exchange portfolio I have to put together by the end of next week. I have a deceivingly short one page essay to write which is comprised of seemingly easy questions such as "about me", "about my work", "why Chelsea college of Art and Design", and so forth. And, a portfolio, which is the factor of the exchange application which is scaring me to death. I have never made a portfolio before. This will be the first time that I will actually have to think about defining myself as a whole, and selecting critically which pieces of work I am actually proud of and are relevant to my design identity.

Right, so I was making a list of all the projects I have been working on within the past two years or so, my main concern being that I don't have enough product design, or even design projects in general, to make a relevant portfolio to the program I am applying for in London. Since I want to study in Chelsea's Spatial Design program for a term, it's kind of embarrassing to say I have one or two pieces that could relate to this. 

So, conclusion being: I might be undergoing a couple personal projects within the next couple of weeks, possibly exploring some ideas and finding ways to make them into portfolio items. Let alone some of the things in my Core Design studio class which might be coming up soon!

OH! And I was laying in bed today and I thought about my GRAD project oh lord its going to be epic I hope to discuss and start soon!

sin burgers

So, without me really noticing, my academic stress schedule is going to the moon this coming week, and next. And not that this is really news, but I can foresee myself this time next week either smartening up and getting the work done; or smartening up and getting the work done and exploding from all my personal...things. either way, apparently, I'm going to get the work done. thank goodness.

Today I got to just hang with Rachel, which I swear is one of the most therapeutic things. We had "Sin Burgers", which, are basically just fattening burger-substance food items that can be attained at a wonderful establishment named Mcdonalds. We sat and just ate while she read me the nutritional contents.. like a soothing monologue. She dispensed other additional factoids, along with a compelling correlation between the price of Mcdonalds menu items.. and cow eyes. Needless to say it was a lovely evening meal, and was enjoyed plentifully. 

The most epic conversation that I had this week (so far) was with Rachel, when we were in drafting class yesterday. It started somewhere about how Spring Break would happen soon.. and that Spring Break was an exciting notion. Rachel quickly said that we could easily do nothing. This however was (will) not be the case, because we both quickly realized that, no, we would not be doing nothing, it would be filled with..design concepts. as in open source concepts. as in tiny house planning. as in solar power research. as in experiance design. as in we are complete addicts. We both agreed finally that this conversation was slightly embarrasing, and that essentially, this conversation should have been implied, assumed, and intended. (lol)

Coffee Table of Glory

This weekend I got super upped on 3d thinking and rendering. It all got focused in on my Drafting coffee table assignment. Within the period of about 4 hours I ran through the entire design process: Ideation, Visualization, Rendering, Testing, Refining, Drafting, Technical Mumbojumbo, all the way to a three-view dimensioned design draft-plan-thing. So Satisfying. 

A circle that is unaware that a sphere exists

It's past midnight, and I lack the zeal to write anything of determined quality, but there is one thing that hit me today, and not in the physical pie-to-face way. My life seems extremely two dimensional. I love relating things to the dimensions, it's a tendency, but an interesting model because each subsequent dimension is unaware of the one succeeding, yet they are all combined, like a set of nested boxes. 

My first dimension is family and friends, they are static but constantly changing within the second dimension, which is my daily commitment; school and life*. 

I am already bored by this metaphor, but what I am getting at is that there is a 3rd dimension that perhaps is missing. Like, I am (or just feel like) a circle that is unaware that a sphere exists. 

*I like to think that life is an additional entity unto school, but really, thats just crazy talk. They are one.

I'm somehow convinced the "comma" is the only variation of punctuation

Today was busy, and not that I care to summarize my day, or any day really, but the main point is that after my class crit ended, my day swiftly became not-busy, and I found myself in a sort of clearing in the (forest?) and was left to my own thoughts. scary.

I was "Idle", and when I decided to go straight home, I stared at an old man sitting adjacent to me on the bus the whole time, who seemingly had no trouble sleeping despite the very...bulbous* lady swaying into his side with every stop and start and a man's cellphone that kept going off, which he did not even attend to, being plugged into max level Metallica on his iPod. This old man didn't even notice any of it.

I was 80% interested in the folds of wrinkles on this old man's face, and in hindsight, I was probably subconsciously mapping out how I would render it with charcoal on mid-tone paper, with respect to the jarring neon light accentuating his waxy cheekbones--as per usual when I have the opportunity to stare at someone who doesn't know I am staring at them. I left 20% of my attention out of this description, because there was something else that kind of annoyed me. I was thinking, in some way I wanted to be numb the way he obviously was. I don't really care about the swaying lady or the ipod/cellphone-incoherent man, but my thoughts** were starting to buzz into my head, and I couldn't.. not think them. They demanded me to think about them. And they kind of just accumulated into this (I want to relate this somehow to those psyballs of energy from Dragon Ball Z, a show which I have NEVER watched) sore thing.

The surprise end-of-the-rainbow point of this story, is that I am miserable and creatively uninspired, and I love my friends, and I love life, but just not when old men remind me, in a round-about way, that my thoughts can metaphorically be related to misquitos buzzing in my brain.

*bulbous is a lovely word Meagan in the ID shop used today, describing the rounded nature of the construction toys Adrien and me are building, but a whole slew of possibilities opened up for me in all the ways that I could use it. Bulbous is such a satisfying word! (just say it aloud)

**thoughts in the context of this post equal 'troubles', and troubles can equal emotional stresses, relationship confusion, undecidedness, and to-do lists. (the later being the most horrid)

"New Folder"

So, I hate writing the first post of anything, but this isn't really the first post, rather a piece of writing that I decided to start posting outside the folder on my computer named "New Folder". The one which I didn't want to name, because first of all, I didn't want it to look too conspicuous, and had I gone through the trouble of naming it, I would have realized that naming it would require me to consider the theme of writing that is contained within this said folder. Which, as I am finding out, is not possible. If you decide to read this stuff over the long term, you may come to understand why.

Regardless, these .txt files (were) really just random strings of observations and thoughts, that led me to consider other (hopefully deeper) things underlying them. Like, I consider myself a designer mainly because I take interest in altering and formating the things I see around me, and I feel like if I can take part in altering the things around me, I am improving the quality of my life in some way, as well as satisfy some sort of deep-seated need to create. or recreate? 

But this collection of old files attempted to express, in some way, what the fuck am I feeling? And not that I care if I am a crazy person at times, but sometimes I address whether I am acting like a crazy person at times. So, basically I didn't care for the outcome to be that: yes, your emotion is really just altering the way you are thinking, it didn't displease me in any way, but the fact is, I was "evaluating", and trying to be aware of the reasons behind why I might feel like crap one day, and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds another day.

All this aside, "New Folder" has been discontinued as of the moment I press "Publish Post" on this sucker, and hopefully this will just be a new platform. I'm thinking that this to-web publishing thing will help me edit out all the pathetic things I write about, like, my "feelings" for a particular person, or the annoying coughing that is affecting my life.. but not yours: as 'the reader'. 

"the reader" sounds ominous. Like a hawk. Don't be "the reader", be the "observer", as in quantum theory, like a harmless fly on the wall. The observer collapses the wave function, what a horrid and un-useful metaphor.